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| Who knows what's round the corner...? |
This week, I posted a poem that I wrote in a pique of inspired fervour after listening to the
absurdly talented Al Keogh on Youtube, preaching the Gospel of Life. Al is not a Buddhist (as far as I'm aware). However, for as long as he can remember, Al has been deeply committed to propagating Truth, Art and Beauty, and now, in his fifties, is one of the few people I know personally of whom it can be said that they have genuinely given more to a city (and Life in general) than they have taken from it. He is an Artist in the true sense, and always capitalises the "A". And quite right, too. Since his school days in the mid-70's, Al (Alan) Keogh has refused to conform for conformity's sake, always questioning "why?", most famously in his claim to have "where possible, abstained from buttoning my cuffs since about 1976" - a reaction to his school teachers and their incapacity to accommodate or curtail his particular blend of creativity, individuality and expressionism. These little touches tell you more about a man than you may think. Other notable tales of hilarity include his impromptu decision, whilst working in his 20's as a barman, to one day randomly sport a post office elastic band around one wrist. Just because he could. A few weeks later he notice the regular "Arty types" sporting similar bands. No-one said a word, but Al smiled. A few weeks later, he stopped, and the trend quickly followed suit. The man is fascinated with why we do the things we do. Perhaps like myself, he feels that by deepening his understanding of the "outside" world, the without, he can bring increased richness and meaning to his inner experience, the within, and visa versa?
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| "I'm inspired by advice I received from a couple of writing teachers I was lucky enough to work with, the advice they gave me was “write about what you know”. Words of wisdom from an integrated mind... |
As you may be able to tell, Al Keogh is a bit of a hero of mine. Kind, considerate, and generous not only of resources, but with his energy and time as well, he seems to me to encapsulate the energy, wisdom and compassion that I hope will become increasingly pre-eminent in my life as I move from one decade to the next. I just wanted to take a few seconds to reflect on this, and rejoice in the merits of a mind that has never settled for second best, never bowed to mediocrity or peer pressure, and never been afraid to tell it how it is. When performing his shows, themselves a unique blend of poetry, spoken word and music, it is not uncommon for the football-like chants of "Ke-ogh... Ke-ogh...KE-OGH" to be reverberating through the crowd between songs. These continue into the sets of the other bands too. Sometimes for hours after he leaves the stage. His stage presence is spellbinding, his love of the spoken word, mesmeric. Pin-drops clatter between lines. It's magical, and if you live in the North West of England you REALLY have to check his work out in person. Failing that - click here for a link to footage of him performing two of his spoken word/poetry pieces at the legendary "Hotch-Potch" Manchester festival this year. Personally, my favourite poem of his starts at 2 min 20.... "Manc"... Thank you Al! The rest of you, enjoy!
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| Al on set as the lead role, filming the music video for Naymedici's seriously rocking "Paddy McGee". Check it out! Creativity has many outlets... |
The question of course, is why would I choose to open a reflection on turning 30 with the above? Simply put, the answer is "Integration". Al Keogh is one of the most integrated people I have ever met, and for those of you unfamiliar with this term, in both psychological and Buddhistic terms, it simply refers to the process whereby one begins to take increasing responsibility for one's own ethical agency and potential in all its various forms. Put another way, actions have consequences, and a highly integrated person perceives very clearly how what they think, say and do affects both themselves and others. Accordingly they then try to create a common context or thread which allows all of their differing selves to gradually become more acquainted with each other, not only for the sake of themselves, but to benefit all beings, INCLUDING themselves (a point which all too often I most regrettably forget). Al Keogh is an Artist. He was born an Artist, and as the years pass by, becomes ever more so. He creates. That's what he does. Friendships. Nicknames. Fictitious bands and their subsequent album releases. Often sequentially and between pints. Al is an Artist. His every energy is geared to creating. This does not mean that Al is not a highly complex man, not by any stretch. Just as a shepherd doesn't try and work with his sheepdog to create one single, monolithic sheep (horrific... terrifying... please make it stop), so neither does the person trying to progress on the path of self transcendence attempt to create a singular personality which operates the same way in all situations. Integration is not a reductionist process, killing off your seemingly contradictory, less skilful selves, but one of providing a common goal and direction for all of them to gradually transmute into that which takes us further down our own individual paths.
The Path that the historical Shakyamuni Buddha taught is not about abstention per say, but about understanding more deeply how our actions cause ripples in this world and affect everything else, including ourselves. "This being, that becomes", as he famously was purported to have said. In addition to this, he described his path and realisations regarding life as "ehi passiko" - "come and see [for yourself]". Not "come and see that which you think you would like to see". Nor was it "come and see what you think you aught to be seeing". I'm fairly sure it wasn't "come and see that which you think will make you look cool", and I'm certain it wasn't "come and don't see or avoid seeing [insert.. well.. anything]". It was simply an invitation to "come and see" what consequences arose when certain actions were observed in self and other, without judgement or opining as to whether these things were "good' or "bad". These relative terms only make sense in the context of some absolute reference point, some kind of ultimate authority as to what might or might not constitute "good" and "bad". When we try and do this in what I perceive to be a Godless universe, we struggle. What is "right", "good" or "positive" for me might be "bad", "wrong" or "negative" for you. Ironically, what is sometimes "good" for you, such as chemotherapy, has very "bad" short-term physiological effect. Equally that which is perceived to be "good" for one set of people can be horrific for another. Hitler, Germany and the "final solution" is a rather obvious example, but forgive me, it makes the point very clearly. What is "bad" for the cadaver is "good" for the necrophiliac. And so on.
So.... What has my admiration for a street poet, integration and necrophilia (thus far, unrelated, I promise, and just to clarify, I don't admire necrophilia) got in common with my reflections on turning 30? And can I get away with opening successive paragraphs with the same mechanism? In order to answer this, I'd like to share my latest tattoo with you....
Now before you start with the obvious, tattooing is only relatively permanent. Yes, "it" will outlast me, but not by long, a few days or a week at most. And then it will be gone. It is also not fixed, constantly twisting shape and subtly changing as it heals and time goes by. That being said, I hope it outlasts me... Scary thoughts involving a bizarre hiking accident, terrifyingly unyielding boulders and an act of desperation involving a pocket knife arise in me, but my twisted imagination notwithstanding, "permanent" is a word that confuses me almost as much as "eternal". NOTHING in this world, or others, is permanent. Why do we do this? Why do we try and drape the veil of permanence over that which we know to be otherwise? Is it that somehow we believe we can imbue or assume by proxy those "eternal" characteristics which we secretly know are to be found wanting in ourselves? Perhaps we subconsciously tell ourselves that marriage or love is forever because we can't face the truth of the matter; that either the relationship won't last, or even if it does, first one and then the other of the couple will in some way eventually shuffle off this mortal coil? Who knows? Please don't be shocked by this. It's just the truth, naked and bare as I was when I shifted from being of this world to in it, nearly 30 years ago today.
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| Even the most powerful man on earth can't escape impermanence... |
Impermanence lends an urgency to life. In my case, it has manifested itself in a retro-spective assessment of my 20's from an ethical standpoint. If the path of the Dharma is one of Ethics, Meditation and Wisdom, then entering my 30th year, I wan't to take it back to scratch. I want to take responsibility for my past actions, how they have affected others, and where possible try and put things right. I want to get my own house in order before trying to be of assistance to others, whilst I still have the chance. As I said, my impermanence is certain, the time of death is not. Not many of us knows how long we have on this wonderful planet. Most people I fear subconsciously hold onto the idea that so long as they are a "good" person (don't get me started), work hard (but not too hard), they abstain from smoking or drinking too much, and stay clear of armed insurrection, "acts of God" or rapidly falling space-debris, they will live to a ripe old age. Ideally they see themselves spending their retirement walking hand in hand with loved ones, perhaps playing a little golf or tennis, and feeding their flaxen-hair grandchildren from seemingly endless bags of"Worthers Originals" or other such gelatinous pacifiers. I'm sorry, but that's just not all that likely. It's a beautiful dream, and some of you out there will realise that dream, I'm sure. However, for the vast majority of us i.e. the 50% that by 2050 will contract cancer at least once (and chillingly, once is often enough), this dream will remain just that. Most of us will spend out lives working a succession of meaningless jobs that we generally despise to ply the few shining pennies we are allocated per month back into the economy. We will remain in a state of constant reactive confusion as new and challenging situations unfold and befall us, unable to comprehend "how it could be so". Our bodies change, our faces change, our jobs, our partners, our houses, our cholesterol levels. All is in flux. Our capacity to understand instructions for the use of disconcertingly new and increasingly unfamiliar technologies will change too (and here's the kicker), all of them for the "worse", or so Society deems fit to tell us. We are conditioned by 21 century life to deny to ourselves the simple truth and (I would argue, beauty) of impermanence. That being said, if we understood better how it operates, how fleeting material pleasures are, we might grasp at things and crave less, purchase less "stuff" and the economy would falter. This could end up leaving the super-rich with less money to buy more "stuff"! Heaven forbid! Eventually they would have to settle for a smaller or even fewer houses, and have less place to put their "stuff" and we can't have that now, can we? So ever onwards this sad cosmic ballet spins.
Without impermanence, without change, nothing is possible. We could not have any new experiences! Neither you nor I, dear reader, could have been born, nor could our parents, which would make it hard for them to meet. Even if I could have been born, I certainly would have been unable to transition from a mewling toddler into a man staring down the barrel of thirty, deciding that you should probably try to avoid employing the same mechanism to open a succeeding paragraph, and then subsequently trying to recall what his point was... Without impermanence we cannot grow, expand, or change. We could never fall in love. We could never appreciate anything. For us as a species to have evolved to this point, primitive man had to die out. For us to transcend ourselves, we have to learn how to "die" into each moment, always looking for new "Dharma-doors" through which to pass from one moment into the next. We must strive daily to find new angles and changes in perspective that bring us closer to the Great Truth; that our impermanence within the ever-evolving world we share makes everything sacred, everything fleeting, everything shine.
Long live impermanence!
Yours for now, in metta,
The Dharmer Farmer x
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| Moments like this touch us deeply, as we are as fleeting as the clouds themselves... |
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