"Back" to Business: The Dharma Farmer walks again plus A Pilgrimage Revisited (POEM POST)

It's hard to believe that a year has passed since my India Pilgrimage preparations.
Nothing can prepare you for India, you just have to be brave, and it is both the greatest and worse place on earth, simultaneously. I cannot recommend the experience highly enough...

Hey, thanks for popping by, so glad you made it. My, but doesn't time fly by? A year ago, I was in the final stages of pre-Pilgrimage preparations, readying myself practically and spiritually for sub-continental wanderings. It seems like only yesterday, and yet it could have been another lifetime. I'm such a different person now, in a very real sense I didn't go to India - he did, the man I used to be. I cast my mind back, and recall how 12 months ago, that guy would arise every day at 6am for 45 min of mediation, often sitting silently in the evenings too. Upon the cushions, his formal sitting practice was in a very deep, still, stable phase. I remember a sense of lightness and fluidity in my day-to-day experiences of life, and this kept me sane in the build up, I'm convinced. It was to be my first time out of Europe or on a long-haul flight, yet I was in no way phased by this. 

I was more alive to the fact that I might not make it back in one or indeed any pieces. Death became a living reality for me, a timer counting down to an unspoken zero. A few years ago, the sister of my brother's best friend was killed in a car accident whilst touring around South America, and if it was my time to 'go' whilst out there, miles from 'home', and possibly at gun-point, I wanted to be prepared. As it happened, it proved to be time well spent. Before I even had a chance to be stabbed, mown down, poisoned accidentally or in any way find myself incapacitated by men in balaclavas, the flight to London from Manchester was delayed due to "computer problems" (bloody 'Windows' again?), rendering the pilots unable to ascertain as to whether the engines were on fire or not! Indeed there were also to be one or two VERY hairy moments on the Indian roads, statistically the most dangerous highways on earth. It's not hard to see why, and should you be planning to frequent them, assume that they will be populated by people who appear to have a genuine desire to die young. Generally though, I was single-pointedly focused East, and felt very peaceful when sitting with my imminent, and possibly literal departure. 

Moments later, we were 'clipped' at 60 miles an hour by the jeep. I nearly shat myself lifeless.
Having both nerves of steel and one's affairs in order helps a little, but not much...

In stark contrast 12 months later, my formal sitting practice has had to take a bit of a back seat of late due to my back condition, but in spite of this I have rarely felt more loyal, committed or drawn to the Three Jewels. I also sit more easily in my skin. Even though I was in quite a heightened, exhaled state a lot of the time, I think on reflection I was far less integrated then I am now. Truth be told, I'm still trying to digest the experience, but boughs are beginning to bear fruit. As Refuges go, the Three Jewels have been a life-saver these last few years, nevermore so than of late, and to them I owe and dedicate my life. Nothing else makes any sense. No decision could be easier. 

My first morning in India, after travelling and being awake for 59 hours... yes, I look tired.

In a very real and literal sense, there is no decision to make, I am merely responding experientially based on fundamental laws of the universe to which we are all subjected: If I put my hand in a fire I will get burnt. If I superglue cutlery to my genitals, people will assume that I'm of questionable mental stability, and rightly so. If I follow the advice of the historical Buddha, if I can heed the words of great teachers, arising from two and a half millennia of a tradition rich with wisdom and compassion, then I can vastly reduce the amount of suffering in my own life. In this my faith is unwavering. 

Most people, when they ask about the basic principles of Buddhism dismiss my answers as 'simply common sense'. When I explain how the principles of causality work, they agree it accords with their perceptions of reality; actions do have consequences, and those consequences do go on to form the basis for further actions and so on. Yet when it comes down to actually combining causality with these basic principles, and implementing some of these universally accepted truths in their lives, suddenly there is a massive drama and suffering arises as we flip the 'struggle switch' on. Unsurprisingly, I am often both parties in this conversation, and like most practitioners, find it easier to preach than practice. Why is this? Why this problem of putting into action what we know to be best for us? Why the discrepancy between our intellectual postulations and our emotional responses to life? It's maddeningly frustrating at times, but how can we kindly motivate ourselves to actually reduce this seemingly yawning chasm between our ideals and their practical application?

Myself and a fellow pilgrim, Dharmamitra Claire Morris, on a train from Nagpur to Sanchi.
We would go onto share many special moments over the Pilgrimage, and are closer than close now.

As always, our motivations and aspirations are key. One of the most important things is to committed to change itself, but not to achieving or grasping after some future state or fortune. When reminding myself of my motivation to change, what I have found useful to remember is that happiness is only real when shared. I know that by reducing the amount of unnecessary suffering and conflict in my life and enjoying the simple pleasures more, I will find myself to be of greater benefit to others. If nothing else, when I am well rested, eating a decent diet and not trying to please people, I can at least provide to my work-colleagues a chuckle over a lunch time cup of tea and conciliatory "we'll, it could always be worse, look on the bright side, eh?" type conversations. Although not the foundations for all happiness, sharing positive emotions with other people is the worlds most saught-after experience, and connecting with others authentically, honestly and emotionally naked exponentially increases the amount of joy and happiness I taste on a daily basis. I never feel lonely as through Metta and it's associated practice, the Metta Bhavana -generating loving kindness - I am always connected to someone in my mind and heart, if not in person. Choosing to share Metta-full moments with others, and facilitating their own quest for happiness brings real meaning to my life, and I know I'm not alone. 

The expression of my gratitude for the coming across this path in a meaningful way, and my confidence in it manifests in what is called "Going For Refuge". That is all it takes to consider oneself a Buddhist. How wonderfully simple! Bill Hicks was right - "It's just a choice, right now, between fear and love..." It's simply a choice. A decision you can make, or not make, as you chose. To grow, to love, to live fully, in the most human sense - as a freely evolving, self-aware individual. To be truly human is to consciously evolve. Going For Refuge, committing yourself to the path is the defining aspect of what constitutes a being a 'Buddhist'. It doesn't matter whether you chose to tell others. Not at all. It lies not in the wearing of robes, nor cultural and social traditions, but in committing oneself fully to change, to unfathomable life, to the great unknown... To Ultimate Truth; in short, to the Three Jewels. Symbolising three things of unimaginable value, the jewel of the Buddha represents limitless human potential to evolve. The Dharma is both the path of evolution and the means by which we evolve, and the Sangha constitutes your friends on the  same path, and in fact all practitioners, all over the world, of all types and levels. These people I consider my spiritual Brothers and Sisters, and love with all my heart ( as do I you, dear reader). By saying these words out loud, and meaning it, one can be said to consider oneself a Buddhist... 

Buddham Saranam Gachami - To The Buddha (to human potential) for Refuge I go. 
Dharmam Saranam Gachami - To The Dharma (the path of his advice) for Refuge I go. 
Sangha Saranam Gachami - To the Sangha (fellow practitioners, of all abilities, past and present) for Refuge I go. 

Inside our minibus, on the road between Bodh Gaya and Rajgir (Vultures Peak).
I was foolish enough to watch the oncoming traffic, whilst others couldn't bear it and
sensibly found other things to pass the time. I look terrified, and often was. The unknown IS scary.

 As Sangharakshita has always insisted, "Commitment is Primary, Lifestyle is Secondary." Nothing is more straightforward to me. The Buddha too was insistent that "every person must be a lamp unto themselves... An island no flood can overwhelm". Frank Sinatra did it his way, you must do it yours, dear reader. Stick to the basic question as to whether an action will lead to harm for yourself or others, an you can't go wrong. If you start asking yourself how you might also be of service to others, then you are closer to the source of true happiness, and thus closer to Enlightenment. There is a real beauty found in the tender care for and of others, in the altruistic dimension of the path, and beauty is the mark of spiritual truth. As the legendary 8th century Indian scholar Shantideva so movingly wrote:

"All the suffering in the world comes from 
seeking pleasure for oneself.  
All the happiness in the world comes from 
seeking pleasure for others.

Where would I possibly find enough leather
With which to cover the surface of the earth?
But (just enough) leather on the soles of my shoes
Is equivalent to covering the earth with it

Likewise it is not possible for me
To restrain the external course of things
But should I restrain this mind of mine
What would be the need to restrain all else?

May I be like a guard for those who are protectorless,
A guide for those who journey on the road.
For those who wish to go across the water,
May I be a boat, a raft, a bridge."

If ever you wondered as to how tough your life is on the global scale, compared to all others,
you might want to go to India. I never before considered bricks and electricity to be luxury items...
So much suffering in the world, why weep for my own mere inconveniences...?

In spite of the difficulties I have had to face in the last year, I have been able to experience much beauty, and for this I consider myself lucky indeed. Not just watching the sunrise over Vultures Peak whist meditating in the cave the Buddha himself lived in, although it was special. Many other small moments of beauty and pleasure have been rediscovered, an undercurrent of joy in the simplest of endeavours too. For example, the gift of my legs, of simply being able to stand upright for long enough to make a cup of tea is one which for too long I have taken for granted. I give thanks every day I'm able to do so, and these days are becoming increasing frequent I'm happy to report. I am therefor overjoyed to say that a few days ago I was able to walk through the doors of the Buddhist Centre in Manchester for the first time in SIX WEEKS! I was greeted simultaneously by sandalwood and the beaming faces of six or seven of my Brothers in the Sangha, Order members and GFR Mitras (Order members to-be), each and every one of us. I have to confess I got a little choked up, but DAMN it felt so GOOD to be in that building again. These guys are my friends, some of them very close indeed, and I hadn't seen them in what felt like forever and a day. I tried and failed to express my delight in seeing all of them together at once, and though all of us had well intentioned questions, none of us had the time to answer them all properly. Still, it was a beautiful shared moment, and one which I have committed to memory, for recollection in times of hardship.

Speaking of sharing spiritual beauty, as it happens I was in the centre to meet one of my fellow Pilgrims for a meeting upstairs in the Sangharakshita Library, and we reminisced on how quickly the year since then had passed. As distant as it may feel at times, I close my eyes and to this day I can still fell the hot sand and dust between my toes, still taste the sweet, sticky morning chai in the back on my throat, and that night, on a wave of nostalgia and endorphins (it was an enthralling Kula meeting), I dug out a battered and torn old notebook...

Whilst glancing through it, the stifling fumes of the mid-day traffic flooding back to me, I found a little poem, which I had written in the Deer Park in Sarnath, the site of the first ever discourse or 'sermon' by the newly Englightened Buddha. It was the occasion of the first unenlightened person 'getting it' and realising for themselves the Buddha's truly unique and remarkable breakthrough. Thus is was the site of the first ever Going For Refuge, by the ascetic Kodanya, and was the birthplace of what we now in the West call "Buddhism." I remember feeling huge upsurges of tear-streaked grattitude from the moment I arrived there until the moment I left, and performing the Buddha Puja for my fellow Pilgrims in the shadow of the Dhamek Stupa, the spot of this historic event itself is an honour I can't convey but shall remember til I die. 

The Deer Park, Sarnath (Isipathana) Feb 2013- The spot where "Buddhism" was born is marked by the Dhamek Stupa, completed 249 B.C.E. This is where is all began. The Buddha had walked the 212km to meet up with friends to share his vision. How kind and generous is that?! Were It not for that walk, I would be dead. Simple fact, and my gratitude knows no bounds. A deeply, deeply moving place, I look forward to going back... 

I recall it being very late at night when I finished the poem, to a lively carcophony of Bhangra dance music, car horns and fireworks. The insanity of India's nocturnal noise-pollution is something which has to be experienced to be believed!... I thought I'd share it with you in an attempt, regardless. This is for all those people that are thinking of travelling to India - you have been warned! I know it's a bit unusual for me to post poetry, but I think it's healthy to be a bit scared and practice bravery sometimes. I hope you enjoy, or are at least mildly amused by my terror... In an effort to post shorter blogs on here, and to mix it up a bit, I will leave you with you this little poem. I truly hope that one day, with wide-eyed nods of agreement and astonishment, you will be able to recall it yourself. India changed me forever. I can't recommend it highly enough, if for no other reason than just to know better in your heart how lucky you are to live in a world of air-conditioning, Twitter and microwave curries. Until then, I'm sure we can all feel immense gratitude for the bountiful opportunities (both on and offline) to grow and better ourselves that the 21st century affords us all. Perhaps then, we might actually squander them less. Here's to hoping. 




"Say what you like"

The Indian roads, it's true, are
Nothing if not splendid and
They are not splendid.
Rarely great,
Potholed and piss-poor,
The barely-tarmaced high seas throw up 
Clouds of noxious dust.
Death-wish Drivers with
Dashboard Divinities,
Seemingly looking to
Meet their maker,
(Ahead of schedule and
Face-first,
Through the windscreen)
Flashing past induce
Involuntary profanity as we
Loose the other wing-mirror...

Time-forgotten towns with neither name nor hope,
Destitution interspersed with 
Incongruous serenity,
Rice fields and respite.

Drawn ever deeper you push on,
Surely not far to go now?
100 miles, and ten times as many 
Minutes to master.
The constant lurching motion wreaking 
Havoc on senses unguarded,
Frayed into bug-eyed delirium from successive "sleeps", 
On equally fractious beds.

Oh, and then at night there are the trains...
Or the traffic.
Or a Whitsun Wedding.
Or a blearily bleating unwatched tv.
Or hounds, hopelessly howling, 
Pissing and shitting themselves lifeless, 
(Not unlike their owners, should either be so lucky!)

Or all of the above.

At once.

I remember sleep.
- I used to have it.

But say what you like: 
The trains exhilarate,
The dogs (almost) never growl,
The traffic is awareness personified, and
The people always smile,
(Once YOU have made the effort first). 
The food is always phenomenal, 
The company exemplary,
The price is always right, or less.. 

Here amongst the scattered dreams of yesteryear, 
Cast aside like old grain,
You find India;
Wonderfully woeful at times,
But with a persistent insistence to lend her assistance,
And extend Grace and Gratitude's slender brown hands.


In destitution lies hope,
In riches, the void.
In Sarnath, my heart...

Yours, lost in the reverie,

The Dharma Farmer xx

May any merit gained in my acting thus go to alleviate the suffering of all beings.

I think, therefore I am (miserable): Six Top Tips to Beat the January Blues and Post-Christmas slump!

Ah, welcome back, I trust the New Year finds you well thus far? If not, then I'm sorry to hear that, and this article may be for you. Recently, I was saddened to hear that several friends of mine outside the Sangha (and possibly some unknown one's within it) have sought professional help after having some kind of post-Christmas/Holidays melt down. Addiction demons and compulsive behaviours, kept at bay for so much of the year, are exacerbated and rear their ugly heads one more in the financial, mental and chemical oblivion that marks out the post-Christmas/New Year period as a particularly gloomy and depressing time for so many. If lucky enough to have employment, we rise, go back to work and return home again under cover of darkness, as vitamin D levels so vital for the production of our 'happy hormones' plummet. "Same old, same old", we say to each other, and trudge away from the festive glow, sadly shaking our heads, crestfallen. For some, the loneliness of a Christmas absent of loved one, or seasonal cheer not manifesting as promised can really be a strain, exacerbated by low temperatures, lower bank balances and (in the northern hemisphere) shorter 'days' to varying degrees. In addition, at this time of year the preoccupation with dispatching oneself in an untimely fashion is understandably at it's highest, especially amongst sufferers of S.A.D (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Mercifully, despite all this, all modern evidence suggests that actual suicide rates do not go up until March or April, so if ever there was a time to act, to make a change, now would be it! 

Perhaps there is some link between the rest of the world budding to life during the re-emergence of Spring, and the sufferer being unable to feel the same rebirth, renewal, the same simple joys of a new, warmer, more living season in their hearts? If you can't feel the same spring in your step as the new-born lambs, then to the slaughter you both shall go... A feeling perhaps of being left behind as the rest of the world starts giggling at in the pleasingly comical sight of pale flesh protruding from skimpier attire and convertible car-roofs being let down several months too early in moments of commendable optimism. I am not a clinical psychologist, but even I know that the 'January Blues' or 'New Year's Slump' can affect any of us over a lifetime, and thus feeling hopelessly impotent in the face of the suffering of several close friends, here are a few tips and hints, from a Buddhist perspective, on how to Beat the Blues and be a light for others in the darkest months of the year. You don't have to take them on all on at once, but whatever you do, try setting yourself small, realistic and manageable goals in the short-term. You will be amazed at how quickly small change accumulates into great fortunes...

LOOK AFTER YOUR 'INNER WORLD'...

Almost self explanatory, but I feel this requires consideration still. As we all know, our mental and physical states are very much inter-dependent. Just as increased mental anguish causes demands on the body which eventually manifest psychosomatically, so too can prolonged physical discomfort (something I have been forced to deal with for 9 months now) have a bearing on one's energy levels and overall positivity. When we are physically fit and well, we sleep better, thus feel less anxious and drained the next morning, which has a direct bearing on our capacity to deal with stress. The excessive alcohol, food and in some cases drug consumption which typifies Christmas for so many can lead to a prolonged lack of quality sleep, which if kept up over the party season can lead to long term mental health risks:

1. Cut Out The Alcohol/Drugs and Drink More Water!

Christmas and New Years is a time to eat drink and be merry, but how merry, and for how long? Have you ever seen a drunk with a hangover at the same time? What about the 'other stuff', the pills, 'wraps' and 'columbian marching powder' too? I'm gong to proceed on the basis that if you have a crippling heroin or crack addiction, you need professional help, but for everyone else, what about drugs as 'innocuous' as cannabis or alcohol? Both, in different ways, will affect the brain's capacity to enter 'deep sleep', or the R.E.M (Rapid Eye Movement) stage of the sleep cycle. One of the main reasons that depression is so readily associated with both of these drugs is most often a simple lack of restitution. Obviously, abuse of both, either or indeed any other stimulants such as caffeine or cocaine will also affect the body as it tries to force a fortnight of accumulated toxic sludge through your kidneys and liver. Any poisons our bodies ingest or create as a result will require water to break them down in the liver, and the waste products are excreted via the kidneys, as we all know. As part of this process then, it is unsurprising that most dieticians recommend drinking a LOT of water as part of any detox program to flush out our lymphatic systems, the pathways along which poisons in the blood are removed and sent to the kidneys for removal. Processed foods too have a high salt/sugar content, which in turn requires more energy from the body to deal with, leaving us feeling drained, overly sensitive and unsure why... By reducing our alcohol intake significantly (or by taking "time out" for a few weeks), we can get better a night's sleep, and consistently well-rested people are able to cope with the mundane stresses and vicissitudes of the New Year much more easily than those still trying to keep the party going!

2. Get more QUALITY sleep!

This does not mean napping in front of a fire with a half-empty bottle of imitation Tesco's Champagne (or even real Champagne) poised precariously in hand, but real sleep, involving a bed and everything! Getting your head down for four hours in a bath with a sleeping bag doesn't count, sorry. It's a trick I used to employ (being a heck of a lot easier than buying and carrying an air bed to a friend's house) and aged 18, there was something admirably resourceful, idiosyncratic and hardy about being able to sleep anywhere, at any time, on any amount of booze or drugs. Fast forward a mere 5 or 10 years, and what passed for student chic is now more likely to ruin the next day rather than make the party. I myself spent most of Christmas 2013 up all night working on "A Bodhisattva's Christmas Carol" (literally, sometimes in 11 hour stints) and slept less than 5 hours a night for most of the fortnight proceeding the 'big day' too, and as a result was an emotional wreck! With the pandemonium that the holiday season affords so many of us, with all the shopping for food and gifts, all well intended, now is absolutely he right time to remind ourselves why 'nest is best', as an old friend used to joke. There is an old wives tale about how an hour's sleep before midnight is worth twice that of an hour afterwards, but whether this is simple maths or indeed some type of biological phenomenon (I expect the former), it's certainly no coincidence that many of my friends have decided that this year will be a year of as many early nights as possible. Sangharakshita (my teacher) has said that he wonders if the reason so many of us struggle to even go to bed at night is because we feel on some level that we haven't really achieved anything of value during the day? It's certainly an interesting thought, and resonates with me this end, so in a similar vein, I've decided to make 2014 the year that I start rising earlier too. 

As 'Mr. E' (Mark Everett, son of Nobel prizewinning physicist Hugh Everett) from 'Eels' sang in an open letter to unborn progeny on 'Things The Grandchildren Should Know': 

"I go to bed real early/ Everybody thinks it's strange/ I get up early in the morning too/ No matter how disappointed I was with the day before/ It feels new..." 

There is a lot of truth in that, and these words of advice come from a man with a life-long history of managing his bi-polar tendencies and depression. If we can fill our days with wholesome (i.e. that which does not cause us to feel fragmented, but leaves us more 'together' in ourselves) activities and worthwhile, productive endeavours, then not only will we be more tired and sleep better, but we will also have less to do tomorrow, and feel less stressed as a result. With renewed vigour and much more energy in the mornings, this should lead us naturally to get more done, and feel better about what we do afterwards.

3. Eat Better!

You are what you eat, as the saying goes, but never more so has this been true. Whilst there is nothing intrinsically wrong with grazing on E-Numbers, Twigglets and After Eight mints for 18 hours a day every now and then, it certainly wouldn't be advocated by many as a serious lifestyle choice for the other 360 days of the year. I adore cheese, and as a result almost never eat it as home as a snack... Just thinking about it is sending the 'cheese monkey' scattering to my shoulders to gnaw at my ears and tug my hair in the direction of the fridge, but my resolve holds firm. Why? Because you might as well just chew lard for all the good it does you. Phrases such as 'Christmas Weight', 'Festive Tummy' and "New Year's Detox' are commonplace for a reason. If we gorge ourselves senseless on brandy butter, sugary confectionary and mass produced meat (red or otherwise), is it any wonder we struggle to shift colds and cellulite, in equal measure, in the January months? Perhaps, with the new year upon us, try keeping a weeks worth of receipts from your food shopping, or keep a small notebook for a week or two documenting everything you eat/drink/smoke or spend. It gives you some clear indication what the long term costs of poor diet might be, physical, monetary and psychological, if left unabated for another month or two more. This time of year I try and get back into soup and casserole making. You can throw together £7 worth of parsnips, carrots, lentils, celery and potatoes into a load of garlic and chilli stock and just cover in an oven for two hours, checking every half an hour. It really is that simple, but something as elementary as that with rice or wholemeal bread can make all the difference to your mood the next day. Plus you get to feel quietly grown up about being entrusted with sharp kitchen utensils, which is always nice. If you have a few freezer tubs lying around, save a few portions, and you also have the self-satisfaction of being rather lazy for your next few meals. After all, why create more stress for yourself?

LOOK AFTER YOUR 'OUTER WORLD'...

Aside from the obvious kindness we can chose to extend to our bodies and minds, there are a few other general lifestyle/attitude changes we may want to consider implementing for a few weeks to get us through the long slow months ahead, before the cheeky wink of springtime beckons us forth into a new season. These have more to do with making our external lives easier and less stressful.

4. Work out your finances!

Ok, so Christmas is rarely cheep, and unless you grow your own vegetables and aren't above gift-wrapping carrots, the chances are that the holiday season, with all the hullabaloo of Hootenanny etc has set you back a pretty penny or two. Most people understandably want to get into the festive spirit of kindness and generosity, in and of itself no bad thing, but as a result, give way beyond their means. I am no exception to this rule. Granted, the last two weeks have been fantastic: I saw lots of family in Wales, and did several trips to Manchester and back over the last three weeks, wracking up approximately 700 miles. It was wonderful to connect with loved ones again, but petrol is not cheep, plus all the presents we have to buy people, plus the food, and maybe a novelty jumper or two. After all, what kind of Christmas party is without crap knitwear? Then you have the ubiquitous 'works do', and how much were all the taxis to people's houses because you couldn't command adequate (or legal) responsibility over your vehicle? It all adds up, and as I said, I'm not excluded from this either. This year, I think I got as far as January 4th before the seasonal call from my bank's branch manager, querying as to how I was proposing to pay for my credit card bill. This is a bill, you understand, towards which I have been sending 'interest only' sums for the last six years, and for a HSBC Mastercard I haven't actually used since 2006! For the last few weeks I have been watching my reserves (financial, but also physical and spiritual) be depleted drop by drop, sinking day by day, like some spiteful barometer. Now, with an extra-long month for most people, the pressure is mounting. I, for example, got paid on December 23rd, and will have to wait until January 28th before receiving my shiny farthings once more. It seems cruel to me that following the most expensive time of year, so many people across the world have to make their meagre puddle of rapidly evaporating means go so far. 

Draw up a spread sheet on Excel, get an expenses notebook, scrawl it on your buttocks with lipstick - whatever it takes, just for goodness sake work out your budget for the immediate future at the very least. Some people will want to plan the upcoming 12 months, but for now, at least take stock of what you have, and double check your projected expenditure. If you fid yourself cutting it a little too fine for comfort, then do you have any unwanted gifts you could ebay? Are you sure you have enough money for that night out with friends? Do you really need another trip around the "Sales" to secure yet more "bargains"? I can't remember the last time I partook in the January sales... Probably about 1989, and even then, it would have been to audible protest and with much ill-tempered flailing, I'm sure! To paraphrase our old friend Mr. Dickens, if a man earns a pound and spends £1.05, he is said to be miserable, whereas if he earns £1 and spends 95p, he is said to be happy. That a solitary 10p can make such a difference as to whether we are delighted or distraught is astounding, empowering, and Sad but True, as Metallica pointed out, although they may not have been referring to matters of fiscal savvy. I can't recall now, but you get the point.

5. Connect with friends more!

For Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike, the feeling that we have some genuine and authentic connections and emotional bonds with other humans is of paramount importance to our sense of overall wellbeing. For Buddhists in particular, we place an emphasis on the Sangha, the community both local and global which we venerate and "Go To Refuge" to at times of strife. Whether we are spiritually inclined or not, we all benefit from friendship, compassion, and basic kindness being extended in our direction. Not only that, it is obvious to us just how much this connections means to our friends when we call them out of the blue, just to see how they are. Think yourself on how warm you feel inside when a compadre or partner in crime lifts the receiver for nothing more that the simple pleasure of hearing your voice and seeing how you are. This time of the year offers the least excuse and the easiest, most obvious opening lines ("How was your Christmas/ New Year? What did you get up to? Any resolutions etc) if your intention is simply to listen to someone talk enthusiastically about themselves for 15 min. You will be startled (or not, if you are already in the habit of doing so) at how much it brightens the day of another, simply by showing interest in their life. I had a harsh reminder of this when discussing my health with family this year. I was advised in no uncertain terms that it was unreasonable for me to expect concern for my back problems if people are unaware of them, to which I replied that I couldn't bring myself to just call my many siblings (I am the eldest of five) to moan at them about my spinal shortcomings. "Have you considered, my dear", my mum replied with a look of aghast incredulity on her face "calling your family every so often just to see just how WE are?".... Point taken, well and truly, and consider it a lesson learned, right there. Email, telephone, Skype, whatever it takes, connect with others, if possible arrange to meet up. Then you can both feel better after a bit of a moan, and besides, any problem shared is going to be a problem halved for either party. As we can see ourselves having a positive influence in the world around us, so our self esteem goes up, and thus we sleep with a lighter and gladdened heart at night.

6. Spring Clean ahead of schedule!

Why wait for Spring? You will burn those festive calories off in no time, your home will look gorgeous, and you wont have to avoid that pile of post by the front door with a guilty snort of derision. Come the warmer months, whilst others are looking despairing at the seemingly insurmountable challenge to sanitise, you can be sauntering along a canal with an ice cream, maybe fondling sandals with ill-advised plans and an expression of whimsy. There's something magical (well, I thing so anyway) about getting up early and emptying shelves of unused books, clothes and DVDs into boxes and carrier bags for the charity shops, or if needs must, Ebay. We all accrue and accumulate so much material nonsense, why wait for  the warmer months to simply get rid of it all? Seriously, most of my DVD's I will never watch again anyway (two copies of "WWII in Colour" - really?) and half my books are of the slasher/torture-porn variety (James Patterson/Karen Slaughter/Val McDermid etc). The other half of my library (Buddhist books notwithstanding) comprises of a few classics but mainly John Grisham's legal thriller novels. The most popular male author on the planet he may be, but it doesn't stop his output being uniformly useless to me nowadays. There is nothing wrong with any of the above authors, but really, how badly do I want to read these books, and how much is simply me wanting to have aesthetically appealing and 'well stocked' (read: full) bookshelves? I recall the example set by a friend of mine, an Order member called Pramodana (some of you may have read about him already in "Part Five - Spiritual Death" of our Christmas Carol expedition) who passed away in early December. Before he died, he made the decision to de-clutter his life, saying: "I like the idea of my body being taken out of an already clean and empty room, and the door simply being closed behind as the light is turned off, leaving no mess behind." To put this into effect, he simply gave away as much of his possessions as he possibly could, and coupled with his sudden need to prioritise some books and endeavours in his remaining six months, this task was made all the easier. He got his wish by the way, and very happy he was with it too! It just goes to show that having less 'stuff' can indeed bring us untold riches, taking delight in the lack of clutter and detritus. Besides, think of all the potential power they hold, all the pleasure that others will get from them, having now served their distracting purposes for me. For Buddhists, this manifests in the third precept: "With stillness, simplicity and contentment, I purify my mind"

At the end of the day, we can have the best of intentions, but life will rarely meet all our expectations, or visa versa, if ever. The whole point of the Buddhist path is not to make your little space in Samasara (everyday life) as cosy as possible, or trying to barter with it. It would be foolish to assume that "If I meditate, then can I expect good things to happen to me." The whole point of Samsara is that it CANNOT BE PERFECTED! Life cannot be brought entirely under our sway or control, and there will always be, on some level, some kind of suffering for someone, somewhere in the world. We all just have to take our turn in the stocks every now and then, thats all. Life is ultimately unsatisfactory. No matter how much celery you eat or sleep you get you will one day grow old and grey (hopefully), and after a comparatively short while with us, you too, like every other single life on this planet before you, shall expire. Why then make such a brief stay on this planet any harder than it otherwise need be? 

We leave school, college or university in our late teens or early twenties, assuming we are not mature students. We then have probably less than 10 years of peak (or socially acceptable) physical conditioning before our 30's usher in ever-expanding waistlines, grey hairs and an almost unstoppable decline into eventual senility and decrepitude. No matter where we are on that timeline, that fact that we are alive, and with no guarantee for how much longer is in and of itself a silver-bullet solution to our complacency. Whether you are 18 or 80, there is no excuse for making life harder for ourselves than it otherwise need be. At the same time, we can use any dissatisfaction to maybe peer under the lid into the true nature of things. It all comes down to whether we chose to look for the lessons in our everyday experiences, and subsequently learn from them.

To those friends of mine who, like myself, have struggled or are struggling to keep it together this time of year, my thoughts are with you, truly they are. For any of you feeling merely a little burnt-out, a little deflated, toxic, bloated or otherwise jaded by it all, I ask you to ask the person in the mirror - "What can I do today to set in place a happier future for me and those around me tomorrow?" 

Meditation is an excellent tool for 'checking in' with ourselves and seeing how best we can extend that kindness to our future self. Due to the fact of 'Dependant Origination' (or 'Pratitiya Samutpada', a Buddhist teaching whereby all phenomena have causes and effects, dependant on each other) we can use our rational intelligence to assess which, if any of the above, would apply to us today or make our lives easier in the future. This 'future' could be later today, tomorrow, next week or in 30 years, but if we can choose contentment and gratitude over sensual pleasure, craving and aversion, we can find ourselves of more than adequate means, energy and inclination to revel both collectively and individually in the rich opportunities for spontaneity that the present moment affords us all. Now THAT is something worth smiling about!

Yours, with a peppermint tea and a stick of celery,

The Dharma Farmer xx

May all beings be well, may all beings be happy, may all beings be free from the bonds of suffering,

This article is dedicated to R.M. I am with you every step of the way, my brother.

New Years Resolutions: To Be or Not To Be (a better person)...

This kind of attitude helps no-one to grow... I want you to succeed! Your friends will be better off for it!

Hi guys, Happy New Year! Welcome to 2014, and should you choose it to be, the first day of the rest of your life. Ok, maybe that is overstating it, but for some at least, myself included, New Years Day offers us a magical opportunity to cast a critical eye over the prior 12 months, with a view to hopefully gaining a panoramic perspective on both our triumphs and tribulations. Making sense of the madness within to reconcile the lunacy without, and visa versa, as it were. Many people do make significant changes this time of year, and several people I know have decided to give up smoking or immoderate chocolate usage, or have joined the gym (not all at once), and to them I say "good luck, each and every one of you!" I mean that. It would be far too easy to by the cynic here. I was going to do just that in fact, but it's one of my resolutions not to. 

New Years Resolutions…They are funny old things aren't they? In the frozen darkness of December we earnestly scan the horizon with beseeching eyes for the approaching glimmer of January 1st, and bravely step forth into a new era, hitherto unknown. The reasons I champion New Years resolutions are two fold: No. 1 - I want people to believe in and develop the skills to change themselves for the better. No. 2 - I want to do the same myself. After all, for Buddhists, isn't that what it's all about? Bettering ourselves in a few tiny ways every day, amounting to millions of tiny changes year by year. Holding our heads up high, knowing we are taking the fabled "Noble Path" through life. It's a heroic thing to do, to try and better yourself. So much in fact that the Buddha himself said in the Dhammapada:

"Better than a thousand meaningless words

is a single meaningful word which upon hearing, one becomes tranquil...

Though one may conquer thousands in battle,

those who conquers themselves are truly the greatest."

So how do I plan to conquer myself this year..? Well, the first thing I wanted to do in relation to this blog was to try and be less cynical, as I've already mentioned. I know I can let my past and present conditioning affect how I write, and for that, I want to take full responsibility if I have written anything which has offended anyone. That being said, I know that some of my views are certainly in keeping with contemporary and historical Buddhist teachings, and of those teachings, I can offer no apology if they don't quite fit with your world viewpoint. They are just beliefs, and that's totally cool if you hold different ones, but hey, we are here for such a brief time in this life, I think it's even cooler if we can learn to share those ideas. We can use modern technology connect sincerely with others, and get better at it, not just swap pictures of kittens. As long as in our communication with others we feel as though we are resonating with and honouring something deep within us, acting true to our innermost beliefs, that's what really matters; inner harmony. 

So, I ask myself, what else can I do to create more of this so-called inner harmony?  How can I make my life easier, less stressful, less neurotic or angst-ridden at times? These are the questions we need to be asking ourselves, but the best one of all, surely is: "What can I do today that my future self will thank me for?" It's something a close friend said recently, whilst discussing how she was sick of living life annoyed at herself, of constantly berating herself for being lazy and for misplacing things. She had realised that much of her life's stress was caused by not doing things in the present moment that her future self would be "well grateful for!" This then has a direct bearing on her self esteem, she said. She hit the nail on the head, truth be told. Thats the key to it all, right there. Conditioned co-production or Dependant Origination are the traditional Western translations of the Buddhas teaching of "Pratitiya Samutpada". The basics of it all, as I have explained in other posts, is simply that because all actions have an consequence, and all phenomenon or 'things' are made up of a combination of other things, or dependant on them, what we do or are today creates who we become tomorrow, or sooner. Here was a typical example of mine, and still is to a lesser extent (hey, I'm trying): 

Why do we so rarely make life easier for ourselves..? 

If I wake up and skip breakfast, I will get a bit light headed and hungry by lunch time. It also makes my painkillers less effective, and often I'm in so much pain when I wake up the very thought of food makes me feel sick. By the time it get to lunch, I have another choice; if I again skip a proper meal and just have some toast, then I'm not feeding my body the nutrients I need, but it means less hassle and less pain stood up in the kitchen. I might make a slice of toast because I'm feeling tired and lazy, because I was up the night before, writing this blog say, til 5am, unable to sleep because of the pain from an injury sustained 20 years ago. Some things are very much beyond changing, and although I can't change the past, I can take responsibility and accountability for my future. Meanwhile, back to my toast. If I eat the toast with chocolate spread, I will cause the cavities in my teeth to fizz angrily, and require extra brushing later that night. So I go for the cheese option, maybe. The cheese option... Mmmmmm... I'm a bit hungry by now, and less aware of my cravings spiralling out of control. My thoughts skip by so quickly I can hardly keep up with them, like a monkey swinging from vine to vine in a fruit tree, grabbing whatever's within reach. This is why in many Buddhist traditions, our consciousness is sometimes referred to as a "Monkey Mind" - restless, insatiable, and discarding things as quickly as it seizes upon them. Mine kinda sounds like this:

 "OK Ok ok Ok.... ERRRRRRR... Got my toast... now... Cheese...! YES!! Brie?? Stilton??... Er... BOTH!! MMMMMMM... hehe I'm so naughty! But I deserve it, I'm so tired after all, and I need a pick-me-up... No guilt! Bit of Branston pickle... and mayonaise... go nuts man...! Black pepper... Crunch it all over, good, good, gooooood... oh, and a slice of tomato or two... Yep... Close that bad boy up... oops, bit of overspill, nevermind, I'll grate it over the top too!... In the microwave she goes... Cup of tea.. two sugars... oh, why not... three... Feeling pretty tired after all... *ding*.... Ah... smells GREAT!! REALLY ravenous now...." 

I hobble back to the sofa, ease myself down, and lustfully lunge face first for my steaming plate of gooey, dribbley promise, a false economy on white bread...

Sweet Jesus... It's like an orgy in my mouth...!

Oh wow, It's so good! Before I know it, I am inhaling it, not even tasting it any more, just consumed by a crazed animal cheese-lust! With ever-widening eyes and dilated pupils, I reach for the second half and cram another mouthful in, glued to the computer screen, as Tony Robinson and the 'Time Team' crew unearth yet more Roman pottery from gardens in the home counties... 

Suddenly I look down at the plate. I freeze... I only have one bite left! What the..?! I look at the forlorn remnants of my 'meal'... There's brown pickle on my knuckles, and possibly some in my eyebrows too... I dust a few crumbs of cheese from my moustache, and half pull out, half mash in a few trickier ones deeper within the recesses of my facial plumage. Sadly, I realise that I haven't really eaten that... I may have ingested it, but I certainly didn't really take in the sandwich, if you see what I mean. I feel a sense of loss. No more sandwich... Gutted! I can't be bothered making another either... I mournfully chew over the last bite, rueing and lamenting an opportunity to be more mindful... It wasn't that nice anyway... Bit rich now I come to think about it... Extra garlic paste was a bad, bad call, brother! I feel sick. The cheese sweats come on fast, as my blood sugar takes off like a 50's Soviet test launch. Just as tragically, my trajectory is way, way out, also... I spend the next hour feeling sick, bloated, and on edge after I over-stewed the tea on account of being overly involved in the finer intricacies of ruining breaded snacks. Then the crash comes, and I can't move off the sofa. Now, in addition to all this, having being hunched so terminally over the sandwich whilst plumping my jowls like some disturbing, hairy squirrel, to add to my woes I now have more back and leg pains. I take more medication, and within half an hour, I'm back to feeling nauseous again, followed by stupidly and mental regression. A pathetically drowsy state induced by the meds, I can neither walk about nor think straight, so back to streaming 90's archeology shows it is then, whilst time drips wasted through my fingers like melting snow... And so on...

The "Time Team' (l-r): the late Dr, Mick Ashton, Dr, Phil Harding and presenter Tony Robinson
- gone but not forgotten Mick! 20 years of the most British TV ever... I still dig it!

You see how everything ties in? If I wasn't tired from staying up late, unable to sleep, I would be less lazy in the morning. I would make a proper breakfast, I know I need to. Granted, it's when the pain is at it's most intense, but I just need to man up a bit and take the pain whilst I get my self settled for a more productive day. If I eat breakfast, my first lots of painkillers work better and more effectively. Sure, I still get the nausea and the numb, drifty feeling for a while, but it's a bit less intense, and certainly passes within an hour or two. Although I might by midday be in some pain still, it would be lessened significantly and perhaps as a result I'd make a proper lunch, eat it mindfully, and really enjoy it. I could at least microwave some home-made soup, and perhaps instead of numbing my brain with endless 4OD or iPlayer series, why not read something dharmic, or listen to more Buddhist talks? The clarinet may be out because of the posture I need to get a sound out of it, but maybe I do something PRODUCTIVE at any rate. Something that produces a positive effect in my life. I could even sit there and do nothing at all, and se what happens. But, sadly of course, I don't, I just reach for my phone and check my emails, Facebook, this blog etc. 

I'm constantly distracted from distraction by other distractions, incessantly chasing something for the mind to consume, to appropriate as it's own. That's what boredom is - ego starvation. Our egos like to have something going on at all times, and when we don't have that, when we are not involved in something, we get bored. Well, that's another resolution right there; be more bored! See what happens... Effectively, by just sitting there, you are meditating... Just staring out into the room, gaze half lowered, for 10 minutes, perhaps following your breath will at least lower your blood pressure. Allowing thoughts to break like waves upon the beaches of your mind can make a big difference to your day. Letting them come and go, washing over you and receding again, realising the limitation to the extent they are 'real', you can begin to feel more relaxed, more porous and open to life. By gently observing our thoughts, not engaging with them or chasing after them, but instead letting them drift through us and away again... A remarkable stillness comes of this. It's what we in Triratna call "Just Sitting", and I plan to do much more of it every day. Just to see what happens.

Which brings me onto resolution number three, the most important of all: Test life more! 

Thats is what it's all about guys! Testing life for ourselves is one of the key messages of the Buddha. 

"Do not believe things just because I tell them to you. Be a lamp unto yourself, an island which no flood can overwhelm. 'Ehi Passiko' - Come and see, for yourself!" 

What this means for us, some 2,500 years later, is vital. We have to actually try and do things right now, in the present moment, for which we will be really grateful in the future. We need to be kind to our future self. Whether that's quitting smoking, cutting back the booze, diatry changes, being kinder to ourselves or more honest with people, whatever it is, we really can only do it in the here and now, and by going against any of the above, we are only creating future suffering for ourselves. Fact! We have to change now, make a conscious decision to alter the course of our lives. We have a choice in the matter. We can test our lives, and in some instances, such as our waistlines, literally measure our progress. We owe it to ourselves to try. It can be pretty fun actually, maybe see it as a science experiment on yourself even!

Take drinking alcohol, an example I have considerable experience in. If we are sick of waking up with hangovers on that dreaded 'morning-after-the-night-before', we can start to drink a few pint of water before bed. Even if we don't drink less, at least we will be making sure our brains get less dehydrated during the night, and we feel less awful the next day. If we have managed to drink on a full stomach (as opposed to an empty one, a breeding ground for ulcers-yet-to-be, by the way) we can lessen the blow even more so. Of course, perhaps we cut down on the booze a bit? If we drink during the week, perhaps set a few days off, or even give it a rest the whole week before resuming the obliteration of brain cells Fridays and Saturdays? You will find that although you initially feel a bit weird drinking tea on a wednesday at 8pm whist watching Aliens, it passes soon enough. Ridley Scott is that good. Suddenly, you are sleeping better, per chance your dreams are more vivid and memorable too. You feel more rested because your body isn't having to force toxic excretions through your liver all night. Not to put too fine a point on it folks, but if your urine is usually cloudy, dark and "wheaty" (as an old friend memorably used to put it), then you are dehydrated. If you are dehydrated, you can't think straight, if you can't think straight, things are more stressful. You get more tired and wound up during the day, and so need a drink, or possibly something 'stronger' to help you unwind after such a 'long, thankless struggle' today. Thus the cycles completes itself, starts all over again and the wheel of life is spun once more, turning uselessly on it's axis, going nowhere. You wake up dehydrated the next morning, you feel sleepy and not in any way 'up for it', and the pattern perpetuates. It's ok though, because when we test things, we can break the cycle. We can test the theory, try looking after our bodies better, drinking more water, eating less junk food and snacks for a few weeks. Sod the whole year for now, just test it in small chunks. No-one just builds a rocket straight from scratch, and likewise if we want to make our lives a vehicle for upward, higher patterns of being, we need to conduct a thousand tiny experiments first. Eventually though, we get there, and this weekend I was inspired to discover that an on January 1st, a friend celebrated 9 years booze free. Now that is something I would be proud of saying one day...

I will always be a smoker. It may be a while since my last cigarette, and one day I hope it will be 40 years since my last one, but I will always be a smoker. It's just been a while, thats all. That attitude helps me come to terms with it, and reminds me why of all the people to quit cigarettes or weed, smokers are the ones who need to do so the most! We all want nice things to happen to us, it's a universal desire for all life on earth. We desire long, happy, healthy and at least comfortably affluent lives, free from anxiety and heartache, poverty and ill-health. We may also want a partner, or a different kind of partner, or no partner at all, but as that not a prerequisite for happiness, I'll leave that for another time, if that ok? We want also to feel good about ourselves. Why on earth would we do things today that we know for a fact will hurt us in the future? We need to really think about our future self, and act according to their needs, out of kindness for the person we wish to become. We certainly don't want to look in the mirror and feel fundamental displeasure at the results. If we feel we could loose a pinch here or there, or indeed whole fist-fulls of extra 'us', then how do we go about it? Lower our calorie intake, and increase our calorie expenditure i.e. exercise more. Take the stairs at work, go for a walk on your lunch break if possible, traverse to the off-licence on foot - wherever you see an opportunity to elevate the heart rate (note to those of you in relationships, sex burns stupid amounts of calories!!) - do it! Put down the fork! Eat smaller portions, and if you really can't at first do it, try at least healthier, similar sized portions. Cut out cheese, whatever, be creative. 

Test life!

If you are a smoker, stop, or cut back, for goodness sake! Not only will you smell better, have more cash in the kitty and be less offensive in public areas (and no-on wants to feel like a pariah), if you can break the habit before 30, your body will, albeit after a further 30 years, have fully healed itself! Isn't that magical? As if you had never smoked! Plus, it's something to be really proud of, and like Ewan McGreggor in 'Trainspotting', you chose life! Your chances of heart disease, or a stroke in a supermarket, or gasping your last in wide-eyed panic, suffocating slowly with a mask on your face, surrounded by junior doctors... All are reduced by staggering amounts if you quit, often to the same risk level as a none smoker, given enough time. Your taste will improve almost overnight, your blood pressure will drop, and although the anxiety receptors in your brain will start to nag if you pay them too much heed, they too eventually get bored and disappear within a few days. Keeping it going is all about positive re-enforcement. If we can feel good about the changes we make, about saving 'x amount' each week or feeling less like killing all humans in the morning, then it's a great start. We can 'see the weight drop off', as some adverts would have it, and we can feel proud of ourselves. Whatever we want to change about ourselves, we really just need to look at those pre-existing factors required for that to happen, and set about it. If the change is something to do with a job, or partner, basically something involving other people, we just have to be patient - after all, we can change ourselves and somethings are beyond our direct control. The Dharma cannot be seen as a magical formula to follow to get riches or get laid, but the principles are sound, we just need to be clear why we want certain things, and be careful what we wish for, as they say. We need to make sure that we change into more skilful, kind, honest, ethical people. Most of us already are trying to live by some kind of moral code, but there is always room for improvement, becoming a little more contented in life, a little happier, more tranquil perhaps? 

When someone says "I don't need to change" I can't help but wish they would...
If you think you are good the way you are then what are you doing reading this?

We simply need to set achievable goals, and work towards them, but we all know that, right?Whatever we resolve to do this year, whatever little goals we set out to achieve, let them be to the benefit of ourselves and others. If we needs to get a pen an paper out and do it the old fashioned way then so be it. Draw a line down the centre, and the left hand side, entitle "Things I like about myself/my life",  and on the right, "Things I would change about myself/my life". Be really honest, no one needs see it. Try and do it whatever your mood, but be kind to yourself. If you feel lonely at times, write it down. If you wish you weren't a smoker, or weighed less, or was less angry at times, then say so. With regards to the the positive things in your life, be just as honest, and really look for things to feel gratitude for. When finished, or at least have a few in each column, then pin it to your fridge or tack it to a prominent place in the house. Use it as a reminder that now is the only time we can change. Take one of those things you would like to change, cross it off and in the opposite column, write what you are doing to counter it, even if it's as simple as "I'm changing my eating habits so I feel better about myself". Then, whenever you are feeling low or tempted to give into forbidden fruit of any kind, just look at that list, and remember that if you back slide too much, you will eventually hate yourself for it. It it worth it? We need to understand that change, real, lasting change, is a gradual thing, and a complete reconfigurations of attitudes, behaviours and learned habits will not happen overnight. In short, a fundamental and permanent shift in our perception of ourselves and the world is a huge undertaking, and it's so important to remember that. Rather than feel overwhelmed at the task in hand, I find it can be quite inspiring, imagining your potential, like looking up to distant, snow-flecked peaks, crampons in hand... Overhauling how you perceive yourself is one of the biggest and most important changes you can make, and a great positive re-enforcer when we are looking to keep up the great work.

Hence this is why I applaud those who have made resolutions. I think it's so important to get behind our friends who are doing these life changing things. Today you might lay off the crap food and alcohol, tomorrow you might go for a jog, but in three years time you could be collecting sponsor money for a charity fun run! Can you imagine being that person? If so, do it, I intend to, as soon as I'm well enough to train again (I'm am an ex long-distance runner) and I recon it will be a lot of fun. I will spend less time mashing dairy products into my facial hair and feel better about myself and the kinda guy I am. By that point I will be a reformed smoker, someone doing something to help others, getting fit and healthy, and probably being happier for a less sedentary lifestyle. And I'll be able walk more than 400 yards, the prospect of which right now fills me with wonder! It wont make me a good person, that's up to me and my capacity to test life, to make all my choices wisely in light of the results. Ultimately, that's why I'm a Buddhist: I know, beyond any reasonable doubt, that people can change their ways. We can become calmer, more gentle, open, loving creatures of delight for all we encounter. We can be the person that always gets invited to the social event, or the kind of person people can trust with their problems. We can help lift the millstone of life from round the necks of others, if just for a second, and with all the grace and enmity in our heart, show our loved ones how precious they are to us. For Buddhists, we have five areas we can work on, areas of our life whereby our decisions affect both ourselves and others. They are known collectively as the "five precepts" or "training principles" which we can vow to undertake as we tread the path to becoming a better person. We can vow to:

1. Try not to harm others/Try to be more kind to others

2. Try not to take the 'not freely given' from others/Try to be more generous to others

3. Try not to harm others through our sexual activity/Try to generate contentment in our lives

4. Try not to be dishonest or inaccurate/Try to be more honest, factual and sincere

5. Try to avoid clouding our minds with intoxicants/Try to enjoy mental clarity and awareness 

These five precepts can be read about or studied in countless books and audio talks, so I wont go into them further, but needless to say, have a think about them, I urge you. Ask yourself, "could I perhaps pick one of those things, and try it for a week or two?" See what happens, you might be surprised with the results. I'd advise looking at the right hand side of the list for inspiration, the positive expression of each precept is so much more life-affirming.

So there it is, three of my four resolutions (or should I say goals) met for today - excellent! I would like to be less cynical and pessimistic, I want to further develop my capacity to better myself and implement these changes, and I want to do it by meditating more. My fourth, by the way, I confess I think I've failed at already, fallen at the first hurdle as it were. I was hoping that after our joint Herculean efforts over Christmas of both my writing and your reading, my friend, I was rather hoping that I might be able to make my future blogs a mixture of shorter reflections and longer, in-depth analysis of themes and thoughts. This was supposed to be a shorter one! I apologise. I know you don't always have 20 minutes to spare, and I imagine people don't always want to trawl through my endless meanderings to get to the point. That was my fourth... That was my intention with this... Honest!

 Regrettably, as you can see, I'm not quite there yet, but thats why it's in the left hand column... "Try and write shorter, more succinct pieces and waffle on like an old maid less". Oh well, Rome wasn't built in a day! I'm gonna stick at it, which means lots more mini-posts on here, a change I'm intrigued by for sure. It provided less intensive work for me, and best of all, I will probably enjoy writing more if I can just share a thought or two. I want to improve as a writer, because I wan't to get better at conveying the Dharma. That's why I'd love people to feed back to me in the 'comments box' anything they would like to share, positive or negative, but always constructive, if you please. Each of these posts can take between 8 and 15 hours to do, from start to finish, and I would love a chance to better myself, so please, let me know below what if anything you enjoyed or didn't understand, so I can know where to improve or clarify something in the future. I try to keep this blog light-heated, and as I said, my intention is to assist and to point the way as I see it, not to offend or cause schisms. Your feedback is an important part of that process, and if nothing else, if you let us know where you are from, we can all maybe feel quietly gobsmacked that this is being written in Manchester, and read halfway around the world. Never before in the history of humanity have we had better platforms for sharing ideas globally, lets not miss an opportunity to help each other or be kind where possible.  

If you have made a resolution, if you are drawing a line firmly in the sand, then great! Try and make it one that gives you some room to manoeuvre if you do back-slide a bit, but don't sweat it. Try to make it realistic too, and geared towards a long term plan. Feel free to add to it and develop it as more as time goes by, like a pearl on the ocean floor. Whatever you do, stick with it. Routine is a powerful thing to get into. Remember though that real change, lasting, life-changing transformation takes time. Don't be disheartened if you don't succeed on the first go either. Even the Dalai Lama is often quoted as saying that he is a "poor Buddhist" and has "much to learn still", but as he said, "on reflection, after a while of effort I can see a few small positive changes here and there, and so I am happy!" Well, if he is ok with being a 'poor Buddhist' making small changes where he can, then so am I! So long as we try, and so long as we are wanting to change the right things for the right reasons, we can't but succeed. I think for me, rather than a New Year's Day resolution, I'm resolving to try and have a year of new days, each new gift of a day hopefully as varied and curious to traverse as the previous one. If you yourself have indeed seized the moment, if you have stepped forth into new territory, I hope you are feeling scared, exhilarated, and proud. You have every right to be, and I salute you! To be, or not to be... That is the question!

Yours, with cautiously inspired optimism,

   

The Dharma-Farmer xx



May any merit gained in my acting thus be dedicated to the alleviation of the suffering of all beings.
May we all find the inner strength to remember how strong we all are.


This article was inspired by and is dedicated to Zara. "It's All or Nothing" - Thank you!